Now Is The Time

Things in Russia are never dull. Nor are they often dull in England. But with the recent murder-by-radiation-poisoning of former-KGB and FSB spy Alexander Litvinenko the brutality and comic evil of the Putin regime may at long last get some much deserved exposure, perhaps even courtesy of the British Government. The Litvinenko case is of course not the first time a dissident has been poisoned in England; the most notable previous incident was the "Umbrella Murder" of Bulgarian writer and journalist Georgi Markov. But it is the first time such an event has happened since terror-paranoia swept over the UK in the wake of 7/7... And I think there are a few more video surveillance cameras in London today than there were in 1979...

What is interesting in this case is the intersection of the world of espionage/assassinations with the world of anti-terrorism. Since 9/11, any act of political murder will be investigated much more strenuously because it might, just might, have been the act of one of those dastardly al-Quaedas... And nothing galvanizes public support like the threat of terror... But a consequence of all this new attention is that more political murders (which is to say those carried out agents working for traditionally governments) might come to light... Which of course causes problems when so called "allies" are secretly killing each others citizens.

But seriously, take a look at some of Litvinenko's accusations against Putin:
Blowing up Russia: Terror from Within, published in 2002 with the financial support of Berezovsky, Litvinenko alleged that agents from the FSB co-ordinated the 1999 apartment block bombings in Russia that killed more than 300 people. Russian officials blamed the explosions on Chechen separatists. In December 2003 Russian authorities confiscated over 4000 copies of the book en route to Moscow from the publisher in Latvia. In the book Gang from Lubyanka (Лубянская преступная группировка), Litvinenko alleged that Vladimir Putin during his time at FSB was personally involved in organized crime.

Litvinenko stated in a June 2003 interview, with the Australian SBS television program Dateline, that two of the Chechen terrorists involved in the 2002 Moscow theater siege — whom he named as "Abdul the Bloody" and "Abu Bakar" — were working for the FSB, and that the agency manipulated rebels into staging the attack. Litvinenko said: "[w]hen they tried to find [Abdul the Bloody and Abu Bakar] among the dead terrorists, they weren't there. The FSB got its agents out. So the FSB agents among Chechens organised the whole thing on FSB orders, and those agents were released." However, this theory has not been widely supported.

In a July 2005 interview with the Polish newspaper Rzeczpospolita, Litvinenko alleged that Ayman al-Zawahiri, along with other al-Qaeda leaders, was trained by the FSB in Dagestan (a republic neighboring Chechnya) in 1998.

In April 2006, a British MEP for London, Gerard Batten (UKIP), cited allegations by Litvinenko that Romano Prodi, the Italian Centre-Left leader (now Prime Minister) and former President of the European Commission, had been the KGB's "man in Italy". Batten demanded an inquiry into the allegations. He told the European Parliament that Litvinenko had been informed by FSB deputy chief, General Anatoly Trofimov (who was shot dead in Moscow in 2005,) that "Romano Prodi is our man (in Italy)". According to Brussels-based newspaper the EU Reporter on 3 April 2006, "another high-level source, a former KGB operative in London, has confirmed the story". Among Litvinenko's most serious claims is that Prodi assisted in the protection of KGB operatives allegedly involved in the assassination attempt on Pope John Paul II in 1981.

Okay, nothing at all damning there... Certainly not enough to Kill someone over... Right?


The Real Victim

Let's get to the heart of the matter: the real victim of this recent OJ media atrocity is OJ and OJ alone. Take it from the source:
As for the ''If I Did It'' title, he added: ''That was their title. That's what they came up with. I didn't pitch anything. I don't make book deals.''

Simpson also accused the Goldman family -- which won a $33.5 million civil wrongful death judgment against him -- of ''opening up those old wounds'' on frequent TV appearances.

"It happens every month to me. Everybody's calling me names,'' Simpson said....
I feel for you Juice. You are just a victim of the system that acquitted you, the cash fueled world of celebrity that both enabled your defense and placed the dark halo of infamy upon your brow.

Fight on, OJ, you're almost to the fifty yard line of history. Just seventeen more yards, and you'll be in range for a field-goal attempt at absolution


Great Day for Secret Service Agents

By now I'm sure most of you have heard the disgraceful news: Barbara Bush, daughter of our President, was robbed while on vacation in Argentina. That's right. Despite her no doubt huge (and hugely expensive) security detail, a Taschendieb (as the Germans say, and remember, there are many, many Germans in Argentina...) made off with her purse and her cell... Cold. But that is not even the worst of it, as far as our proud Secret Service is concerned:
The theft was not the only difficulty the Secret Service experienced during the twins’ two-week visit. One of the agents got into an “altercation” after a night on the town and was beaten up, ABC reported. The Bush twins were not present on that occasion.

Wonderful. A drunk agent gets beaten up after "a night on the town." Wonderful. Beaten up. I thought that only happened on the school-yard... Assaulted? Knocked the fuck out?

But as regards the theft, I have only this question: did the thief know it was Barbara Bush he was robbing?

Kramer Update

So Kramer made a really bizarre appearance along with Jerry on Letterman last night. Of course the similarities to the Mel Gibson thing were obvious, and one was (sadly) disabused of any hope that this might have been some kind of bizarre PR stunt. In any event, here is the video:

Pretty weird. I've been watching Seinfeld on the computer all evening. It's even funnier when I remember Kramer hates blacks.

Update to Update!!!

Just a few more comments on the apology... What's up with the Katrina reference? Is that really necessary, Kanye West? Obviously the high-water mark of the interview is the "Afro-Americans" moment, plus the entire audiences reaction to the first few minutes. As the comment says, they are right to laugh, because it is funny... Also, on a totally different note, it turns out the guy who ghost wrote If I Did It also ghostwrote Amber Frey's book. Small world!


Memorable Moments in Racism

I'm totally burying my own content here (see the next post for killer OJ Cancellation Reaction Coverage) but this story is too hot to pass up (also gives me a chance to link to my first Death-Media TV upload on YouTube). Michael Richards takes things to "another place" in this "wacky" video:

Here's one account of the night's events, though if you watched the video, I suppose it's superfluous:
While Michael Richards' outbursts seemed to catch many by surprise, as people were heard to be laughing at first, the repeated use of the "N-word" led many in the audience to say "Oh my God." The original two hecklers were not the only ones to take potshots at the former Seinfeld actor, as the AP quoted an audience member as replying "It's not funny. That's why you're a reject, never had no shows, never had no movies. `Seinfeld,' that's it," as the audience noted that Richards has had very few roles other than Kramer.

Funny how quickly the (mostly black) audience turns on Richards' racist antics... Not! Okay, that's getting old again.

Speaking of all-black audiences, I played a show last night. Many of you may have known this and conveniently "forgotten" but I forgive you... Not! Okay, sorry, that's got to stop. In any event, my loyal, devoted, dearest friend Rich showed up, and that made an otherwise awkward night extremely memorable and worthwhile...

I think there was very little thought given to the arrangement of the night. As most of you know, I play a fairly white brand of satirical/indie/folk rock, so it was with some amusement that I discovered I was sharing the bill with spoken-word poet King Garvey. He brought a huge crowd, and his shit was pretty tight and hilarious. But, because of my, well, utter whiteness, I think the management was anxious.

I mainly got this feeling when one of the managers came up to me and was like "Yo, what genre are you again?" Me: "Um, well I play a quirky brand of pseudo-serious indie rock..." "Do you cuss?" "Oh, not really, well..." "No, no, no, you can, you should, you know nothing like 'suck my dick' that's offensive to women, but cuss as much as you want to" "Okay... I guess I have some funny songs I could play..." "You da man."

It goes without saying that the entire King Garvey crowd had filed out by the time I played the first notes of "Terri Schiavo Died" (my third song)... But, thanks to Rich, it was a great night.


Those pussies over at News Corp have really fucked this one up big time.

I shit you not, "If I did it...", both the show and the book, have been scuttled!

This is probably the worst possible outcome of all of this, both for OJ, and more importantly, for me. What can I write about when the ultimate story has been denied me? Who are these moralists who would shut down a November sweeps feeding frenzy? Have they souls?

Needless to say, I am very, very, very disappointed in Rupert Murdoch, normally a man whose taste I have absolutely no qualms about. I mean, come on, Fox is the only network with any programming moxie. The Ben Stiller Show, The Simpsons, House of Buggin', In Living Color, the list goes on and on... Why have they pussied out on us now?

And why was no one squeamish about the constant attention given to OJ up until this point? Why has he suddenly gone too far? I mean, Juice'd was pretty outrageous... Isn't it clear that this is the only possible way the cat has of making a buck? Funny that the media who have promulgated him to this height of infamy are bailing out on him now...

The whole thing is just plain rotten if you ask me. Just rotten.


The Real OJ Story

This time it's not OJ! It's his crazy publisher, Judith Regan. She put out a press release entitled "Why I did It" in which she explains, in Naomi Wolf-esque terms, why she decided to interview OJ and publish his "book". Here is a choice excerpt:
I made the decision to publish this book, and to sit face to face with the killer, because I wanted him, and the men who broke my heart and your hearts, to tell the truth, to confess their sins, to do penance and to amend their lives. Amen.

Well said... Not! Remember, this is also the bitch who brought down Bernard Kerik in his bid to become Homeland Security Czar. Okay, so it was actually some other shady nonsense that Kerik was up to that really brought him down, she was still the Amber Frey of his nomination... The (succesful) Anita Hill? Not really, but anyway...

This woman is crazy. Don't get me wrong. I'm all for victims of abuse confronting their abusers in a safe environment and achieving some measure of emotional closure, yada yada yada... So on that point, I applaud Ms. Regan (notice the Lear reference... Is she Regan to Guiliani's Lear? Hopefully!), but the only problem here is that she wasn't abused by OJ Simpson. A minor quibble, I know, but really, isn't this mythmaking gone bad, wouldn't Freud vomit at this not-so-subtle transference? Ms. Regan, please, for God's sake, do us all a favor, and Plath yourself. Get thee to an oven!


Want to Waste Your Time?

Visit this website. Trust me, you will never get anything done again.


OJ Simpson Videos

First John Mark Karr brought the JonBenet case back from the brink of oblivion... Now OJ has brought himself back, ready to finally take the internet video world by storm, as he surely would have back in '94, if there had been a meaningful internet...

So, without further ado, a selection of Juice related videos from the web.

Okay, not that funny, but just a warm up to better stuff, right? How about and oldie but goodie?

I still get chills just watching that. Here's a parody. Again, not great:

I'm still holding out hope that something worthwhile will turn up from YouTube....

Okay, so that wasn't it either? I'll keep up the search for the real OJ videos...


This Sunday in New York...

I am playing a rock show. That's right, "Movie" will be making its New York City debut. Here are the details:

I play at 8 pm sharp. The place is called 169 Bar and is located at 169 E Broadway (take the F Train to E Broadway).

I will be playing solo, so you know what that means: definite chance of a blog song or two working its way into the set. I would love to see my friends among the crowd. It's only a half hour set so it would be nice to get some drinks after as well, and still get home in time for a refreshing, "ready for monday" sleep. It will be awesome.


Taking the Search Too Far?

I don't thinks so... You decide, but just to help you along, dig this excerpt:
First, I found matrices in the Old Testament. This first matrix is the most interesting one. It is from a -150,000 to 150,000 ELS (skip) search, and it contains search words HOLLOWAY (ELS=90122), NATALEE. It is at Nehemiah 3:15 - Jeremiah 32:3. It is the only matrix in the entire Bible containing the first and last words of Natalee's name. It includes Job 42:15: "And in all the land were no women found so fair as the daughters...". And notice also in the matrix is THE BROOK; Natalee is from Mountain Brook in Alabama. The matrix also includes HAREM, this could indicate she was abducted to be added to some Muslim's harem, or to some South American or Carribean brothel to be enslaved in prostitution, which may mean she is still alive in the Middle East, the Carribean, or South America somewheres.

Pretty incredible, right? Next thing you know, Natalee will be living the brainwashed life of a whore in Bogota... Perhaps she's been abducted by a religious zealot pimp whose religion of sex-workmanship has seduced the mind of this innocent Alabaman in a way Joran only wishes he could have.

Or maybe a troubled former soccer player from Chile spotted her at Carlos and Charlies, paid off Depak and Satish to act as his minions, and absconded with Natalee before the break of day, taking a private helicopter to his secluded sex palace in Northern Chile.

Perhaps it is more likely that a disciple of Rasputin was bent on making Natalee his Anastasia. In Haiti.