Untapped Spring Break Hotspots: Pitcairn Island

In honor of Spring Break which I am celebrating (where else) New Haven, I thought I would take some time to profile a few of the destinations you WON'T be seeing on MTV this year, but which are nonetheless equally hot as far as the party scene goes. Take Pitcairn Island. At first glance, this remote island with a population of about 50, most of whom are Seventh-Day Adventists, wouldn't seem like the haven for young-person debauchery that it actually is. But the truth is right there in the peoples' origins; many of the inhabitants are descendants of the mutineers from the famous "Mutiny on the Bounty" who settled the island after stumbling upon it in their flight from the British Navy.

This place is bumping, and if you're worried about any annoying natives getting in the way of your partying, fear not, the Aborigines left long ago.

No, the only inhabitants are descendants of Fletcher Christian (and the Taitian women he abducted and brought with him), the charming figure to the left who was portrayed by Mel Gibson in the 1984 film The Bounty, which also stars Anthony Hopkins, Liam Neeson, and that spry poet's offspring, Daniel Day-Lewis. A fine film.

Another major draw of Pitcairn for some will be the opportunity for elicit, ritualized, traditional sex with underage girls, a tradition islanders claim dates back to the original Bounty Mutineers. If they base all of their laws on the actions of the original mutineers I hope they are ready to accept murder, as most of the sailors and Tahitian men in Fletcher's band killed each other (or succumbed to excessive drunkenness) in the first few years of the settlement. When American whalers "rediscovered" Pitcairn in 1808, only John Adams of the original eight sailors was still alive, along with several Tahitian women and children. You can tell this place is ideal for a party, right?

Another drawback is Pitcairn's relative isolation. The nearest islands are hundreds of miles away, and Pitcairn is only accesible via passing cargo ships. It took author Dea Birkett two years to book passage, arrange for an island home-stay (there are no hotels), and receive permission from the British Government to visit the island (for the secret purpose of writing her book,Serpent in Paradise. But come on, is that really gonna stop us from partying hardy on Pitcairn this spring break? Hell no!

There is good news afoot, the Pitcairn men have lost their appeal of the rape charge, so those Pitkearners are ripe for some fresh blood! Join me, I've already booked us seats on a Czech freighter, what could be better?


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

My infinite admiration on this fascinating post Nos.

Some more information:

The sentences will not begin until next year, after appeals by defense lawyers against Britain’s jurisdiction over the island, which has a permanent population of just 47. If the men’s sentences are upheld, they will serve time in a cell block they helped to build on the island.

A makeshift cell block!


I would love to visit this place.

Anonymous said...

More trouble in paradise:

Soloman Islands: Continuing civil unrest led to an almost complete breakdown in normal activity: civil servants remained unpaid for months at a time, and cabinet meetings had to be held in secret to prevent local warlords from interfering. The security forces were unable to reassert control, largely because many police and security personnel are associated with one or another of the rival gangs. The country is therefore sometimes considered a failed state.

RĂ©union: Doctors on the Indian Ocean island of Reunion are battling an epidemic of a crippling mosquito-borne disease that has no known cure, French Health Minister Xavier Bertrand said.

About 7,200 cases of "chikungunya" had been recorded, including 1,600 cases last week alone, the minister told the French upper house. "It is a major public-health issue," he told senators.

Chikungunya is Swahili for "that which bends up" and refers to the stooped posture of those afflicted by the non-fatal disease for which there is no known vaccine or cure.

Authorities on the volcanic island east of Madagascar, a French overseas department with a population of 760,000, have earmarked 600,000 euros (720,000 dollars) to fight the outbreak, including special mosquito-eradication brigades.

Nostradamus said...

Many thanks, I especially hope people enjoyed the Czech Freighter joke, which I spent twelve hours writing and re-writing.