9.22.2005

Since the "Miracle"

(Cross-Posted at Not About Jose Offerman)

As the Red Sox fall out of first place, and Derek Lowe and Pedro Martinez continue to pitch well for their new teams, I am brought to make some remarks about the time since Boston's miraculous victory.

Immediately after this, with Curt Schilling stumping, Bush was re-elected. Shilling has had a terrible year, struggling to return from a serious injury much too quickly. If he had rested, instead of traveling around the country in October blathering about how great Christ Jr. Bush is, perhaps this wouldn't have been a problem. Moron.

'Dro, my beloved 'Dro, has kept his jeri curl in tact and made the Mets look periodically legit this year with, surprise surprise, great pitching. Though Lowe's record is only 11-14 for the hapless Dodgers, his 3.45 ERA surely would have garnered at least 15-20 wins in 33 starts for Boston.

It was in late December, as all of Red Sox nation basked in the glory of the season past and marveled at the consistent Patriot's run into the playoffs, the Tsunami devestated Asia. Hundreds of thousands died. Whole economies were wiped out. The region has barely begun to rehabilitate itself. The media response was significant, and, you'll recall, Bush was remonstrated by many for his failure to respond quickly.

In February, the NHL canceled its season.

In late March, Terri Schiavo died, with President Bush failing to save her. I might add, while judicial activism is quite righly anethema to Conservatives, legislative activism is their favored mode, especially when it can be employed at the expense of the Constitution.

John Paul II died on April 2. He was then replaced by, naturally, a reformed Hitler-youth-turned-Cardinal, Pope Ratzinger.

In May, Natalee Holloway, a recent high-school graduate, disappeared after spending a rowdy night in Aruba with Joran Van Der Sloot and the Kalpoe brothers. She, like the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, has not been found.

On June 14, Michael Jackson was acquitted of molestation and kidnapping.

In July, Sandra Day O'Connor retired, giving a dim-witted, ideology-controlled, science/knowledge-hating, faith-base-prostrated President Bush the opportunity to nominate a Supreme Court Justice.

Then In late August, as the world focused on the President's inept handling of the Iraq War thanks to the protest launched by American Heroine Cindy Sheehan, Hurricane Katrina hit the gulf coast, leading to the most unbelievable images from the New Orlean's convention center, punctuated most profoundly by the repeated chants of "help!" by the beleaguered, poor, and largely black New Orleaneans...

FEMA took some 7 days to fully mobilize, while Bush likewise stuck to his "justify-the-war" stump campaign days into the crisis... Then William Rehnquist died, and Roberts was re-nominated as Chief Justice. Amazing. Word on the street is Bush wants a real hardliner in there now. Wonderful.

Then, finally, after all this calamity, that pilot managed to land that plane safely last night, and a glimmer of hope returned to the pan-optic death grip media holds over all of our lives. Happy day.

Oh wait, I forgot, Hurrican Rita is near!

Let's all remember that, of all of these, by far the most covered story was the Tragical Case of Terri Schiavo, with Holloway running a close second.

1 comment:

KINGSPAWN said...

Since Terri Schiavo died twice, I'll overlook the doublepost, and just mention the their/there issue...Regardless, delightful post, but I think you should post it on Jose Offerman--the whole thing, up to and including Hurricane Rita, is about sports!